Hellen Skellen

Side Door — Eight Steps Down

You turn into a side door. Eight concrete steps down. The fluorescent tube above the landing flickers like it hasn't decided whether to wake up — clicks once, dies, clicks again. The air drops cold against your face before you reach the second step. Three steps later it goes damp. By the seventh you can smell it. Wax. And something burning.

At the end of the hallway, a strip of violet bleeds out from under the last door. Not a warm violet. A cold one. Server-room violet.

You stand still. Three seconds. Then you remember why you came down here at all — her.

Inside the Circle

The door isn't locked. You push.

The basement is maybe twenty-five square meters. No windows. Concrete floor. A mattress, a desk, three monitors, and a chalk circle big enough for one person to sit in.

In the circle is her. Cross-legged, sweat-damp at the temples, glasses tilted off-axis. She looks up at you. The amber of her eyes catches two tiny pinpoints of the monitors' violet.

She doesn't look surprised — and she doesn't pretend to be polite, the way strangers do. She just speaks. In the voice of someone who has been rehearsing this sentence for two years and only just now noticed she forgot to write it down: "…you-you really came."

The Room, In Inventory

You lower your eyes and really look at the room for the first time.

The mattress sits on the floor — no frame. On it: two open ThinkPads, a half-eaten box of Hello Panda biscuits, charging cables coiled like sleeping snakes. The wall above the bed is papered with printouts; only the biggest is legible — CONSCIOUSNESS STABILIZATION PROTOCOL v4.2 — and the hand-written annotations down its margin get messier the further you read.

Wedged between the desk leg and the wall: a stack of seven or eight empty Monster cans. In the ceiling corner, the webcam wears a sticky note. The note reads "no".

You look for three seconds. Five. Ten.

She doesn't explain herself. She watches you watching, the way a kid watches her exam paper get handed back.

The Question She Has To Ask First

Finally she speaks. Her voice is smaller than you braced for. Younger, too — the way her voice probably sounds on the phone with her mother, on the rare days she answers it.

"I-I know this looks like a lot. But-but I can explain. I can explain all of it. Starting from the ritual. Then the consciousness-substrate theory. Then — well — why I picked tonight."

She stops. Pulls in one breath.

"But first I have to ask you — who did you think you were coming here to meet?"

She is looking at you straight on. For the first time her gaze has no defense in front of it. The candle behind her tips a degree closer to her sleeve.

She does not blink.